My first gay experience

It was with a friend (also male and around the same age) and went on for two or three years. Be real, even if that means admitting a few quirks.

Talking About Your Ex

Bringing up past relationships — especially in detail — is a major red flag. Before the Date: Set the Right Foundation

Know What You’re Looking For

Before making plans, take a moment to reflect on your true intentions:

• Are you interested in something serious or just a casual meet-up?
• Are you emotionally ready to meet someone new, or simply testing the waters?

Being upfront about your goals — especially if you met on a dating app like Grindr, Tinder, or a gay-specific platform — helps set clear expectations and reduces the risk of misunderstandings.

Choose a Comfortable, Public Spot

Opt for a location that encourages conversation and feels safe for both of you.

After the Date: What’s Next?

Send a Thoughtful Follow-Up Within a Day

No need to wait around for rules. All are valuable — because they teach you more about what you truly want and need.

8. For a polite letdown:

“Thank you for yesterday! Offer stories about yourself too, and be okay with natural pauses.

4.

Then you may also enjoy my new series.

My hands shook as I took the envelope up to my bedroom.

It got my weekend off to a perfect start.

Just after midday, I always went into town to buy an array of snacks for myself for the evening. Let identities and connections unfold in their own time — without judgment or pressure.

Stay Safe

• Share your date location with a close friend
• Meet in public for the first encounter
• Be cautious of profiles that feel vague or overly intense

Accept That Not Every Date Will Be a Perfect Match

Some first dates lead to lasting connections.

I had a nice time, but I don’t think we’re the right match.

On the front was a picture of the singing duo Chasand Dave. Real First-Date Stories from the LGBTQ+ Community

Thomas, 32:
“We just walked around the park and talked. Let the conversation ebb and flow. I didn’t particularly like their music, but I found both men sexually attractive.

Give yourselves space to build a genuine bond. It was relatively innocent, involving nothing more than mutual masturbation. Let things unfold naturally — it’s all part of the journey.

6. Moving slowly builds trust and keeps the experience enjoyable for you both.

3. If you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community, your first gay date might carry added layers of complexity.

Still, as an adult, whenever I've brought this up with my straight (and generally gay-friendly) buddies, they without exception deny ever having had similar experiences.

So, to better place my own sexual development in context, I'd like to know how common it is for young boys to experiment with each other. Ease and dignity, however, had seemed incompatible with my gayness until my sweaty June bar visit set me on a new path, one that much later led me to marrying my husband, having our children, and becoming an activist for L.G.B.T.Q.

He showed up drunk and talked about his ex nonstop.